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I hope you're well and loving these gorg spring days as much as I am!
There's a lot happening in my personal life which is why these emails have been so sporadic. From a big career move to a move across the country just a couple of months away, you can say my Saturn Return has been quite the joyride.
It seems like we're all thirsty for change and craving fresh starts. This isn't to say that if you're not leaving your job, moving to a new place, or dyeing your hair blue you're doing anything wrong. I'm a big believer in divine timing and you'll know when to act on something that's right for you.
But if you ARE riding the change train with me, let's check in. How are you doing? Have you also been doing mental gymnastics about every possible scenario that may or may not happen?
Your brain loves to keep you in that good ol' comfort zone and give you all the reasons why you shouldn't take that leap or let go of something. But that certainly doesn't mean that you're not capable. We are highly adaptable creatures who can form new habits that also expand our ways of thinking and being.
While I don't think dealing with change neatly fits into a box for each Enneagram type, the Harmonic groups, aka your conflict resolution style, can provide some insight.
Here's a lil breakdown of how this might look along with a tip for staying balanced:
The Emotional Realness Triad (types 4, 6, 8): Like the name implies, emotions come to the forefront during times of change for this group. They may be more prone to externalizing their anxiety and looking to others to mirror their reactions as a way of preparing for what's coming. An 8 may feel more energized with conflict, a 4 may seek to be understood and validated, and a 6 may be more testy and defensive.
If you're a 4, 6, or 8 know that whatever you're feeling is justified. Take some time to understand the real feelings behind the anger, sadness, or anxiety you may be experiencing and notice how you may project this onto others.
The Competency Triad (types 1, 3, 5): These types rely on competence, aka using logic and reasoning to solve problems quickly and efficiently (without letting emotions get in the way). A 1 focuses on their beliefs and how that drives them to do what's right, a 3 focuses on completing all the necessary tasks and keeping up a good image, and a 5 takes on an outside view of a problem to gather as many resources as they can to inform how they go about something.
If you're a 1, 3, or 5 recognize how you may be trying to solve problems by controlling external circumstances. Consider how you can instead control your internal responses to help you ride the inevitable highs and lows. One of my favorite tools for this is affirmations and I have some you can print out here.
The Positive Outlook Triad (types 2, 7, 9): These types focus on the big picture and can easily see the positive outcomes that arise from change. A 7 focuses on how the experience will create happiness, a 2 focuses on how something may inflate their image and self-worth, and a 9 focuses on how change can bring peace of mind and harmony to them and their environment. Of course, this isn't to say that this group has zero stress about change. It may cause them more stress to focus on the obstacles so they choose to focus their attention on the positive instead.
If you're a 2, 7, or 9 try setting realistic goals and expectations without getting too attached to outcomes or a "grass is always greener" mentality. It's wonderful that you can focus on the positive, but don't shut out any so-called negative feelings either. Journaling is a wonderful tool for exploring all the musings in your mind, and you can use what you gather to be better prepared for what's next.
Last but not least (and speaking of change!) I wanna give these newsies a glow-up. I'd really appreciate it if you took 60 seconds to complete this survey. It'll help me figure out what kind of content you care about so I can pack in all the value and goodies.
That's all for now , I'll catch ya in your inbox next time!
PS: For those of you that have been asking, I don't offer any services at the moment—but I certainly will in the future! My newsletter community always gets the 411 first, so stay tuned. In the meantime, don't hesitate to reach out to me with questions via email.