Updated: Dec 6, 2020
1. It's silly to measure success and timelines by age. I've learned to stop saying things like, "by 30 I'll be working full-time for myself" or comparing myself to others who have it "figured out" (spoiler alert: no one does!). People peak at different times and you can reinvent yourself at any age. There is wisdom in the journey.
2. The word "should" needs to be burned at the stake. It's rooted in the idea of doing more and listening to what works for others (think: "I should have a morning routine if I want to be successful") instead of focusing on what works for you. The only thing you "should" do is honor what you need.
3. Patience is hard, but baby steps are the key to not burning out. As someone who's crashed and burned more times than I'm willing to admit, I've found it so much more valuable to play the long game by being intentional about what you do.
4. Mindset actually does matter. There's always going to be disappointment, people that talk you down, or things that make you question your worth—but when you're able to filter and shift those thoughts in a healthy way, you'll be able to pick yourself up from anything.
5. Feelings are neither good nor bad. Life is neither good nor bad. Once you stop labeling things in black and white terms, it frees up so much pain and guilt to just exist as is, without judgment.
6. Reflect often. It allows you to learn from experiences, put things into perspective, and create a better relationship with the things you actually want.
7. Empathy is always taking the higher road. Take the higher road.
8. Never apologize for changing. We're not meant to keep the same passions, same circles, same jobs, and same opinions throughout our life. Expansion isn't always about fully letting go or cutting something out. It can be keeping the door open as you explore something new. Honor whatever it is you need.
9. Find someone whose life you really frickin admire not to compare yourself to or remind you of what you don't have, but to use as your "soul teacher" for showing you what's possible when you live in alignment.
10. Adult friendships can be hard and at times you may feel really lonely. But more times than not, people are seeking connection just as much as you. Be the one who reaches out.
11. Sometimes you don't get closure, and it really sucks. Whether it's in a relationship or a job you really want, it's important to find your own closure to heal, rather than trying to distract yourself or erase the memory.
12. Embrace your awkwardness and wear those weird phases you go through like a badge of honor for leading you to become the f*****g amazing person you are. (I've had way too many alter egos to count).
13. Introversion is a superpower and it's time we all start looking at it that way. I used to carry a lot of shame around my introverted-ness until I started owning it rather than trying to shift my persona to match the extroverted society we live in.
14. It's easy to hide behind a mask, but that only sets you up for things you don't actually want. It's human nature to want to belong and hide the things we see in ourselves as "unlikeable"—but changing aspects of yourself to fit in just enhances that insecurity. It's okay to not know who you are just yet, but always speak your truth when you can.
15. Your worth does not come from what you do. It's one thing to be proud of what you do and another thing to equate your value to something external that can be stripped away. When you love and accept all the messy parts of yourself, you will stop trying so hard to prove yourself.
16. Strive for joy, not happiness. Happiness is a destination that's often manufactured. If I can work for myself full-time, I'll be happy. If I can achieve all my goals this year, then I will finally be happy. Joy, on the other hand, is a sense of internal peace. It exists within the process and savoring the moments instead of anticipating something better.
17. Never stop being curious and searching for meaning. Ask questions. Look for little signs from the universe that you're on the right track. This expands our capacity to think, feel, and make real change.
18. Time is relative. We often feel a push to start over in the new year or in a new season, but change happens by nature, not force. You are on your own timeline, just let it happen.
19. Rejection is the name of the game when you put yourself out there, and it happens allllll the time. Don't take it personally. If you're rejected, there's something in the universe that's doing you a favor.
20. It's so easy to look at what you haven't accomplished rather than what you have. Celebrate your wins and find gratitude in the smallest of opportunities.
21. If you feel stuck or trapped, fear is blocking you. Fear both drives you and puts you in a box. It's important to call out your own fears so you can outsmart your brain's own traps and get in touch with your inner guidance instead.
22. Notice what and who shrinks your energy and what and who expands it. This is my process for any decision I make, whether it’s taking on a big project, or simply making plans with someone. Being conscious of your energy levels is a boundary you deserve to set for yourself.
22. When you have a shitty day, put on your favorite song and disconnect. When you have a shitty day followed by a shitty week and a shitty season, it's okay to just feel it. Even if you feel like you're stagnant, you're processing so much more than you think. Value the invisible shifts as much as you do the external ones.
23. Ever feel like you go through the same situations, relationships, internal struggles, etc? Life is all about patterns and cycles. We are destined to repeat ourselves because of the way our personality boxes us in and tries to defend us from threats (hence fear getting in your way again). Once you wake up to your own patterns and notice what you can do to shift them, that's when the best growth happens.
24. For God's sake stop trying to find your purpose like it's a lost scrunchie under the bed. There's so much emphasis on having "a thing" that you devote your life to. News flash: people change, grow, outgrow, and fall in and out of love every day. When you try so hard to find your purpose, you miss out on following your passions purely out of love. Take the pressure off and trust that things will fall into place when you're doing what you love most.
25. Make an effort to move your body every day, even if it's just 10 minutes of stretching, a walk around the block, a dance party, etc. You'll feel better.
26. Your voice and your contribution matter. It matters when you as one person, commit to shopping small or cutting down on waste. It matters when you have that one conversation with that someone in your family. Your impact as one person is a butterfly effect. Use your voice where and when you can. Speak up for injustice, find the courage to have the conversation, and treat Mother Nature with kindness.
27. Honesty is hard, but oh so necessary. Your relationships will be so much better when you can fully and openly express yourself. Of course, the fear of hurting someone is scary, but so is hiding how you really feel.
28. Be your own boss or find a creative outlet that you call yours. You never know what might happen when you just start sharing your passions.
29. Life has ebbs and flows. There are phases where you feel on top of the world and phases when you want to listen to Lana Del Rey and cry. Don’t dismiss the quiet time as regressing. It's often in those periods you learn the most.